Our Japanese Grandmothers

​Once again, Instagram got us started in the right direction. I had seen something about the possibility of renting a grandfather for the day in Japan to help show you around and teach you about Japanese culture. I absolutely loved the idea, but when trying to Google this possibility, I must admit that I was not able to find what I wanted, and Googling “rent a grandfather” honestly took me down some weird turns. Thankfully, a parent of a former student had told me a bit about her trip to Japan and had talked about renting a grandmother in Kyoto. When I told her I was struggling to find this opportunity, she sent me the WhatsApp number of the woman who had been their grandmother for the day. I got in touch with Akemi, and the magic happened from there!

Before arriving in Kyoto, she sent me a message and said that someone else in her travel company was starting a new tour and was hoping to try it out on some people. If we have the time and were interested, they would offer this experience to us without charge as long as we were willing to write reviews later. We are not one who often say no to such generosity, so we jumped at it!

Akiko picked us up at our hotel the evening after our bullet train ride into Kyoto. She could not have been more precious, and I’m so frustrated at myself for not taking a photo with her! She walked us to a small studio for some craft time.

She told us about the art of Japanese paper making, showing us how strong the traditional paper is. Apparently, in pre-electronic days, if a fire was coming, accountants would throw their paper books into the water to protect the information as the ink had set into the paper and the paper was strong enough that it would not rip. This strong paper is now used to make Japanese lanterns. We chose a shade of paper, carefully cut it to fit on the plastic protective sheet, and then set to work decorating it. We used other colors of paper and stencils to create the perfect pattens we wanted. Then, we chose a small electronic light to put inside it. When we get home, we will fold up the now flattened lantern, and joyfully think of our adorable teacher, Akiko, when it lights up our homes!

Sunday morning, our tour started with Akemi at 9, but she said she’d meet us in the lobby at 8:40, so I wasn’t at all surprised when I got a text at 8:20 that said she was downstairs. She was exactly what you would picture of a grandmother and former elementary school teacher. She had lived in Iowa City for a year where her second daughter was born, and now has three small grandchildren, but she had been an elementary school teacher and an English teacher. While she didn’t give us peppermints or Werther’s from her purse, she did give us some delicious lemon candies! When we were on trains or in taxis, she would pull out her small binder with facts and photographs to teach us something new about what we were going to see. I learned SO much from her, particularly about the religion here.

Let’s start here with some numbers. 1600 is the number of temples in Kyoto. 300 are the number of major shrines here. While 1.4 million people call this place home, 54 million visit it annually. (There’s no wonder we’ve heard lots of different languages!) For 1,000 years, Kyoto was the capital city of Japan. It only moved to Tokyo 150 years ago. The Japanese population is decreasing, from 130 million to 122 million in just a few years. (Grandma, mother of two daughters, said, “It’s because we don’t have good men here.”) Oh, and there is one vending machine for every 23 people in Japan. (They are everywhere!)

We went to lots of temples with Akemi, and they were all beautiful. The Golden Temple or Kinkaku-Ju was first with its stunning gardens followed closely in beauty was the Tenryu-ji Temple. The Fushimi Inari Taisha Shrine with the thousand torii gates was magical, even with the crowds! Kiyomizu-dera Temple has great views of the city. But it wasn’t just checking off all of these must see places that I loved. I loved learning from her about the religion and the significance of these places. 

Shinto is the indigenous religion in Japan. While there is no primary god, it is made up of over 8,000 deities that especially represent nature and our connection to it. About 1500 years ago, Buddhism was brought to this country. Most Japanese people (Grandma said 80%) believe in both Buddhism and Shinto which is why many shrines and temples are in the same places. There are thirteen schools of Buddhism, but none believe in a god, rather the reaching of enlightenment. Some focus on the absence of judging (I realized how much of this I do without even knowing!) while some focus more on simplicity. This is why the beautiful gardens that surround the temples and shrines, while stunning, are instead more natural areas rather than manicured lawns with symmetrical rows. In fact, we learned a new Japanese term we love: wabi-sabi. It means beautiful, but in a way that accepts the imperfections and appreciates the uniqueness. So, the ponds in the gardens are not rectangular, the pathways are not straight, and the plants are not symmetrical. Japanese gardens also are often blended in with the mountains so that they look like they are larger than they are. In fact, Kyoto has no high rises allowed, not because of earthquakes, but so that the mountains are always in view.

In Buddhist Temples, even when you do not enter, you can see the Buddha inside. So, you bow respectfully and make your wish or prayer. For Shinto Shrines, the deities are flying around close by. So, the doors to their temples are closed tight. You must clap loudly, twice, to get their attention before making your request. At the shrines, we usually found guardians at the gate. For the Inari Shrines, it is dedicated to the god of agriculture, of which rice is obviously a focus. Who eats rice? Mice. Who eats mice? Foxes. This is why foxes guard the many torii gates there. Other torii gates have pairs of samurai guards. When in pairs, one of these statues has an open mouth and another has a closed mouth. This represents the sounds made by the first and last letters in the Japanese alphabet, so they represent the beginning and the end.

Akemi also took us to a beautiful bamboo forest. Even though my Dad is working to create his own, I loved seeing this one and marveling at it. The bamboo is huge; not only taller but at least twice as wide as what I’m accustomed to! Akemi said that they eat the fresh bamboo shoots in the spring. Also, did you know bamboo blooms? But only once every 100 years. Then, when it does bloom, the next year, that root system dies and a new one begins!

Grandma suggested we stop for some cherry blossom ice cream, and well, you should always listen to your grandmother! It was a unique and delightful flavor! She also treated us to a fox face rice flour cake, walked us through the “kimono forest”, helped us navigate trains and taxis, and gave us wonderful suggestions on how to spend the rest of our time in Kyoto! 

Now, when I reviewed Akemi on TripAdvisor, it said nothing about “renting a grandmother,” nor do I know a way to guarantee that your guide is of the older, more experienced generation rather than someone else from the company. However, I now have the phone numbers of two absolutely lovely grandmothers in Kyoto, so if you are headed this way, let me know, and I’ll put you in touch with them! I would never turn down an opportunity to get to learn from someone older and wiser than myself. I’m so thankful we met Akemi and Akiko, and I’m so thankful I now have some adopted grandmothers in Japan!

Bravery

​Being brave can look very different for different people and for different situations. Sometimes it is jumping out of a plane, stepping up to protect someone in danger, speaking in front of a large crowd, running into a burning building, but sometimes it is just taking a chance on something that makes you feel uncomfortable. We did that tonight, and I think it will be one of my most memorable evenings.

Because we were coming to Japan, our algorithms on social media had been giving Jessica and I plenty of ideas of things to do and try in Japan. We took note of some, hoping they were accurate and yet skeptical. Tonight is our first night in Kyoto, and our first night figuring out Japan on our own. We decided to take a recommendation off of Instagram for our dinner.

It led us down a tiny alley just off a major road that’s bright lights and pricey storefronts was reminiscent of New York City, and yet, you could easily walk past this unremarkable alleyway and not even notice it.

Do you see all the different hanging signs? Those are all for different restaurants. Each wooden panel is a sliding door that opens up where there is just enough room (I truly mean just enough) for 4-6 stools before a bar behind which is the chef. I’ve seen walk-in closets that were larger than these restaurants. Instagram users had recommended one of these, but it appeared to be full. The one next door was empty. We hemmed and hawed. How do we order? What kind of food is it? Is it a true restaurant? It’s empty, is that bad? But we were brave and slid back that wooden panel.

An older man greeted us with a smile and pointed toward the open stools. While his English was infinitely better than my Japanese, we communicated through broken English, Google Translate, big gestures, and kind smiles.

He started with something we understood. He pointed to a beer bottle, a wine bottle, and a sake bottle. We chose sake and were able to communicate that we wanted the small glasses. It was delicious! Simple, light, and no burn whatsoever.

At this point, I don’t honestly remember if we asked for food, or if it just appeared, or if we just nodded yes to words that he spoke. (I promise the confusion is just due to the true lack of understanding of what was going on rather than the sake. 😉) But, in front of each of us appeared tofu. Did we order it? Not that I know of. But then again, my favorite meals are always the ones where the person who knows more about the meal just orders for me! Tofu is not something I ever order at home, but this was light, airy, and full of flavor!

I struggled a bit with my chopsticks and this consistency, but I was thankful I powered through! When we finished the small portion, about half a stick of butter, we didn’t know what to do next. Was there more food? There were pots and a tiny stove. Was this more of a bar? But what are all the plates for? Is it rude to ask for more? We had so many questions!

But instead, we enjoyed chatting with our host however possible. He asked about our trip: how long were we traveling, where were we going, where we were from, and what we had done in Kyoto. He told us of his favorite spots in Kyoto. He helped us perfect some of our incredibly few Japanese words. In the corner, he had a small television with the news on. We were able to talk about the recent bear attacks in Japan, and Jess even shared a photo from her brother’s house in the mountains with a young bear in the backyard. World Cup news was shared, and he cheered at the USA win, smiling at us.

After mustering up the courage, hoping that he now knew we certainly weren’t meaning to be rude after our conversation, we used Google Translate to ask if there was more food we could order. He smiled and shook his head yes. Soon, beef wagyu stew appeared in front of us. It was so flavorful! Once again, just a delightfully small portion of a food I didn’t pick out. 

It was when we finished this that we decided we’d like more time with our gentle host, so we ordered another sake. At this point, a woman walked in with her shopping bag and sat down at the bar. The man immediately poured her a glass of wine and put the beef stew in front her. Obviously, she was a regular, and I loved seeing their “Everybody Knows Your Name” relationship.

He looked back at us and questioningly said, “sashimi”? To which we just nodded our heads. It is raw fish, and we knew that. When in Rome, right? He put a stunning plate in front of that we devoured! 

We asked about the fish after we ate (I’ve learned this is ALWAYS a better option). The white fish is called tai and while it was good, I mostly tasted soy sauce. The octopus (on the far right) didn’t have much flavor and the texture was not my favorite, but it was far from terrible. It was the bright red in the middle that was divine! He called it “maguro,” but after Googling it, I’ve learned that’s just the Japanese word for tuna! 

As you can only imagine, beautiful chopsticks are a popular souvenir here. But it is the chopstick rests that are even cuter! It is going to be very hard to choose the perfect one(s) to take home! Some are funny like flattened cats, asparagus, or a pan with a fried egg. Others are simple, but elegantly designed with every color of the rainbow. Some are beautiful flowers or even the majestic Mt. Fuji. But, looking over at the other woman sharing this bar stool with us, we noticed she had folded the paper the chopsticks came in into her own little rest for her chopsticks. I’ve gotten good at “excuse me” in Japanese, and I was able to get her attention. Our expressions of delight and wonder showed our true curiosity and she eagerly showed us how to do it! (Fold it in thirds, half, and then fold in the ends just a bit.) 

We made such a big deal about it that our host then pulled out two lovely chopstick rests and said, “Gift for you!” 

I hope I’ve been able to convey the joy this evening brought me! We took a chance, and it paid off tenfold! And just because I’m sure some of you are wanting to know, just how much did this three course private dinner with two sakes each cost? $25 for the two of us. Total. While things in Japan have not been cheap, delicious food has been!

Let this be a lesson to us all: be brave, even on the little things. You may miss out on something remarkable behind a sliding door!

Life Seeing

My first week in Japan was more about life-seeing rather than sight-seeing. I have been catching up with my friends who have lived here for close to two years. I wanted to see their life here. I wanted to see their home, their neighborhood, their school, and their favorite things to do in the area. 

They live in a lovely area south of Tokyo near the beach, in fact their home is just a short stroll from a beach where on a clear day, you can see Mt. Fuji! While this area is popular for Japanese, particularly in the summer, and particularly for the retirees, Zushi is not otherwise known as a popular travel destination, so the quiet highlights of this area are not to be found on popular travel blogs. And to me, that’s what has made them perfect!

Much of our time together was just me getting to do life alongside my friends, and getting to see their favorite places nearby. I went to Eleanor’s swim practice, listened to Max’s saxophone practice, ate dinner alongside my friends, visited Sam and Eleanor’s school on their last days of the year, played spoons, went on base, baked cookies together, learned the trains they use easily, saw Rob’s office, and repeatedly walked to the magical 7/11. It was perfectly ordinary and exactly what I wanted it to be. When I talk to them, and hear about what they’ve been up to or where they have been, I can picture it now! 

While with them, they took me to several of their favorite spots, the first one being: Sea Paradise. It’s an aquarium with a bit of a theme park. They have annual passes, so the kids feel comfortable roaming about on their own. We watched a performance where dolphins rocketed out of the air, penguins waddled across the stage, beluga whales lifted their trainers out of the water, and an enormous walrus performed tricks. Watching the giant blob roll down the ramp and then do “sit-ups” was a highlight. The aquarium had an outdoor area with otters, red panda, and even some capybaras. Sam and I got to go behind the scenes and feed the capybara some lettuce. His large snout and buck teeth up close were really only the face a mother could love, and yet, his confidence brimmed over!

They also took me to the mall next to base for an outing. When they had first arrived, and it was just right next door, it was a reprieve for them. I could see why! Max and I went to the cat cafe and had a delightful time. The cats were all fancy breeds and incredibly well cared for. They accepted pets and toys, and eagerly pounced on treats. I don’t allow myself to visit the cat cafe at home because I don’t want to walk out with another cat, but here, this is their permanent home (and, you know, an ocean of difficult travel away). 

The food court at the mall and even at Sea Paradise put ours to shame! Not that this surprises me at all, as the food was one of the things I was most excited to experience here. But, for under $10, I got delicious, quality meals in a food court. There was the curry with fried pork, gyuza (Japanese dumplings), and butter chicken with cheesy na’an bread.

Speaking of food, we also enjoyed several divine meals out. The whole family went to a restaurant where I enjoyed a beef curry. Before I arrived, I didn’t realize the Japanese had their own curry. It’s thicker and more of a roux. While it isn’t as spicy as Indian curry, it has plenty of flavor! 

One night, Rob, Samantha, and I went out to eat lasagna. As Rob says, the Japanese do everything better. He has suggested to make sure not just to eat Japanese food here, but all sorts of food since they do everything well. While the lasagna was the best I believe I’ve ever eaten, what fascinated me more was the restaurant itself. It was a bar with seven stools. That was it. The chef behind the counter did everything. While his menu wasn’t extensive, it was a full page. He had multiple types of lasagna prepared in individual baking dishes, then, once your order was placed, he added the unique sauce/topping that you requested. We were not rushed out, in fact, our three stools were probably half of his business for the night. It was remarkable. 

I also got to experience a tsunami while I was with them. Don’t worry, this is not an “I Survived” story. Soon after the kids had left one morning and the three of us were getting ready to go out for the day, a siren went off, similar to our tornado sirens. It was loud and an announcement was made at the end, but of course, we couldn’t understand it. Samantha quickly checked her weather app. Yes, a huge earthquake in the Philippines had triggered tsunami warnings. However, the 1 meter high wave wasn’t schedule to hit for several hours, and fortunately the 1 meter surge just looked like a large wave. Samantha had only experienced one other tsunami warning since living in Japan. With that one, she said the siren didn’t stop going off, and they did all pack up and go to base. While there was some flooding, it was not too severe.

While obviously catching up with my friends was at the top of my list, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that getting to see their pets was also high on my list! I loved getting to meet Violet, the energetic little puff ball who joined their family last fall. Gnocchi, the gentle giant “potato” of a golden retriever who joined their family while in Sicily is always a joy. And then there’s my love affair with Fitzwilliam Darcy, the cat who showed up at my parents’ door and was eagerly welcomed into the Echols’ home, where he then traveled to Virginia, on to Sicily, and now enjoys the heated floors on chilly Japanese days. He seems to always remember our connection and is thankful that I helped him find such a loving home. I’m thankful that he seemed to remember me, or if nothing else, allowed me to feel that way. If I was sitting, he was in my lap. He even gave me the honor of sleeping with me a couple of nights! 

Jessica arrived in time to get to know the Echols before we go off on our own. I’m so glad to have the opportunity to introduce dear friends from different parts of the country!

One day, when they had important appointments, Jessica and I took the train to Kamakura. It is definitely more of a touristy town, giving us our first real experience with crowds. It was such a fun city to visit, though! We went to see the giant Buddha, 24 meters tall, and nearing his 800th birthday. While I always marvel at the engineering skills of builders from centuries ago, a highlight for me was watching the multitude of school children parading around him in their matching hats to ensure they don’t get separated from the group.

After visiting Buddha, we wandered down the famous shopping street with gorgeous chopsticks, unique and tasty bites, and all sorts of tiny treasures, many of which had cats on them! My favorite treat was the candied frozen strawberries (after we figured out how to eat them!). I was also thankful for this opportunity to try the trains on my own without being too far from Samantha’s incredibly helpful guidance!

On Friday, the four girls took a day trip to  Enoshima. It was a magical little island, and our weather for this outing was perfect! We took the famous train line about 25 minutes away that hugs the coast line and gives lovely views of the Pacific.

The island is full of folklore of an evil dragon that was tamed by a heavenly maiden. He fell in love with her, but she vowed only to return his love if he instead used his strength and power to help the people of the area rather than terrorize them. With this folklore, there are shrines all over the island, a bell where lovers can pledge their everlasting love, and old sea caves you can explore. Inside the sea caves, you’ll even find a mystical dragon that roars when you clap. On top of the island, there was a beautiful garden with grand views, and all of the narrow streets were tucked in with stairs on many of them. 

Remember how my goal is try all the food? Well, for breakfast, we ate a curry ball, which was curried beef and cheese in a fried dough ball. We ate tiny pizzas made in a wood-fired oven before us. There was the blue denim ice cream we tried that reminded us suspiciously of bubble gum ice cream. (Anybody been licking their jeans lately? Is this what I’m missing out on?) Of our food journey for the day, I think I would say my favorite was the sweet potato ice cream which was almost like a tiny taste of my favorite Thanksgiving side dish!

Our time with the Echols was such a joy! I am so thankful that they would host us, show us around, and welcome us into their lives! Our Japanese journey is just beginning, but Zushi, with my dear friends was a beautiful way to start this trip!